| poppyseed evening |
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| 11:39pm 05/02/2006 |
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mood:  creatively frenzied music: trippy shit from upstairs
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cold and shivering on this new and discovered poppyseed evening: a friend reborn and though not much, it's a crush
quiet and true creativity drips from the sinews and jumps, leaps out the fingers and eyes and least of all the mouth
we are nothing alike but have nothing to lose so the cycle spins and the burning scotch creeps down the throat
an excitement is beginning on this new and discovered poppyseed evening |
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Read 3 - Post |
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| a ghetto bed and wetting scene |
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| 09:55pm 17/01/2006 |
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mood:  depressive music: nothing
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had a dream that i got fired. maybe i'm mellowing, but it weren't no big deal, especially in relation to the vacuous nightmare that followed. shots rang randomly through walls a ghetto bed and wetting scene, truly ghastly and intense were these monsters. an abhorrent apparition to say the least.
i woke up, still employed, in the suburbs. |
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Post |
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| grey has made its presence felt |
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| 10:26pm 11/01/2006 |
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mood:  awake music: Schubert (baby-going-to-sleep-music)
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the world was once stark black and white but now grey has made its presence felt.
a ripple effect, breathlessly brilliant and brilliantly tasteless, sweeping through peak and tundra just reaching climax.
grey-eyed, confusion dances behind the weary pupils of a young mother - heavily burdened but swiftly relaxed as pegasus memories and futuries flood her senses.
school supplies are piled amongst dirty clothes and shoes. the room, she is dark. the contrasts of such subjects bleed together so deftly in the dim and mellow lack of light.
the world was once stark black and white but now grey has made its presence felt. |
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Post |
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| rock box |
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| 01:42am 09/01/2006 |
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mood:  rock boxin music: BoonDocks
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it was my creation so i don't gotta listen to all your whinin and moanin and pissin
i'm in my rock box ROCK BOX
i love rye bread and A-Dog and this one guy named N8 but even from them there's an occassional break
when i'm in my rock box ROCK BOX
what i'm tryin to say though lacking in tact izzat i don't like to listen cause i think i'm all that
i got a rock box ROCK BOX
-dedicated to ryan, adrian, nate, and maybe eric because they were the first rock box witnesses- |
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Read 3 - Post |
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| tuesday night |
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| 11:02pm 27/12/2005 |
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mood:  ragged music: adult swim
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its lonely here. W is on vacay and rye bread partook in perhaps too much yeast;
and i sit here waiting patiently for midnight. i am presently uncertain as to my enthusiasm regarding the aforementioned time.
overwhelmed, i decide to take a short and raggedy nap. |
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Post |
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| William is one today. |
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| 09:46am 15/12/2005 |
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mood:  intimidated by time's passing music: Backyardigans
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Life is passing me quickly by.
Exams to be studied for and birthday love to be doled in massive and frequent amounts.
Goodbye and Goodluck. |
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Post |
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| currently self-afflicted |
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| 10:43am 07/12/2005 |
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mood:  self-afflicted music: W crying
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wicked anxious agitation downcast and incensed: amalgamation of consequent qualms inundate perceived reality.
despondence ensues, begat by self. |
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Post |
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| machinations unmatched and recurrent |
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| 08:25pm 06/12/2005 |
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mood:  thinkin' music: the sounds of my english class
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rheumatically animated violet strings pluck upon themselves: a satisfied tune, see major
issues abound like magazines machinations unmatched and recurrent: the enigmatic tacit of capricious
whit, whilst canisters buttress barricades the polysyballic become affable: meaning mutual cataclysmic proceeding
continuously to the fore with gusto entity alights in the company of affluence: such dogmatic countenance hesitates
an instant elapses with commanding castigations venerating homage aptly and with fervor: "this subterfuge reality begets aberratious acuity" |
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Post |
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| sleep approaches |
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| 10:12pm 01/12/2005 |
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mood:  stressed music: simpsons
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my neck is tight and my phone call has faded away into the unenergetic somethingness that is myself.
and still... i am somethingness. which is something, i guess.
sleep approaches quickkkkllllleyjdhj |
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Post |
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| reality |
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| 10:54am 28/11/2005 |
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mood:  real, unfortunately music: baby hiccups
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my hopes have been dashed as always they are in the end. heart-heavy i write and conjure a phone number that will lead, perhaps, to happiness or at least some semblance of unreality. |
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Post |
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| today, the beginning |
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| 08:01am 28/11/2005 |
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mood:  oo la la music: caillou
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finally i'm not at my braindead job. but piles and piles of papers await me although i near-always leave time for my pleasures: writing, W, rye bread and art.
i recently finished a Speigelman - "in the shadow of no towers." and suddenly i am more enraged than usually.
today is a birth - day indeed. the beginning of the beginning is not as interesting as i would have imagined it to be. |
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Post |
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| the unabash-ed interview |
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| 10:18pm 26/11/2005 |
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mood:  confused music: Handel
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"ah yes," i said to the lurid and unabash-ing reporter, "i know precisely the question you're meaning to ask." "ah yes?" "ah yes, might it be a question..." "a question???" "inquiring about a certain..." "a certain question???" "a certain unpublished person?" "it might, it might..." "and this question..." "this question, my question???" "might this question be..." "this question be, this question be???" "about me?"
"ah yes, about you. this question is about you. you..." "i???" "you like..." "i like???" "do you like to eat shrimp cocktail when you write?"
"no..." "no???" "no, the sauce..." "the sauce, the sauce???" "the sauce is too..." "too, too???" "too messy, too messy: it gets all over the papers."
"you are the most boring person..." "person???" "that i've ever interviewed. good day." "well, fuck you too." |
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Read 2 - Post |
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| hated the holidays |
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| 09:07pm 22/11/2005 |
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mood:  mmmmmmmmmmm music: Jeff Buckley - Hallelujah
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i wasn't doing very well this day. i had decided to use past tense to make everything seem less pitiable, but alas, i was still in a bad way.
thanksgiving was around the corner; yet another empty holiday to fill the voids in our lazy, luscious lives. i was a vegetarian and angry as well.
angry at everything mostly because everything reminded me of me, in the bad way. people were too intense for me then, and i was like the rest.
i had felt ambitious before, see, and i was wary of the feeling. but slowly it crept up and grabbed hold and i thought: "tomorrow will be different."
this day was today and this was how i felt and now i am constipated with the endless barrage of bottomless baggage. |
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Post |
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| shattered myself |
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| 11:29pm 21/11/2005 |
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mood:  swooning music: Handel
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i love words but i am choosing silence from now on. i have been, perhaps, too abrasive at times and i am, without doubt, particularly good with falsehoodery. but this is not i, who love faeries and their tales, not i, who writes poetry and prose and one day hopes to successfully fly a kite and write a book, not i, who cries when babies laugh and grow up before your eyes; this is not i and i am changing the way i am and the way i play the game. more subtle it will be, i think, with more nuances and under-the-table winking. more appreciative of our short times together and less aggressive jibber jabber.
oh swoon, i think i've shattered myself image. |
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Post |
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| i just need to get paid. |
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| 12:29am 20/11/2005 |
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mood:  sick music: my coughing
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it's a green year indeed. papers behind and two jobs ahead. all i want to do is write and there are so few who know and none that encourage.
i don't need encouragement or recognition or bullshit however. i just need to get paid. i have tires to fix and apartments to rent. i even have some beer to drink.
drunk is what i am and understanding people are not. i am not myself at work and i am not myself at school and i am not myself with friends because i don't have any.
and i don't need'em 'cause i got a car and a son and ten fingers. tengo mi novio y mi lapice. i don't need to surprise you or shock you or please you. i just need to get paid. |
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Post |
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| no dough |
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| 12:11am 20/11/2005 |
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mood:  awake music: humming
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i was driving, and i hit a curb at an estimated speed of forty m p h.
now this curb, see, this curb was real slick and he came up on me like shadow.
tap and jolt and the deed was done. he glared at me and hissed and sat real snug down there.
later i checked out the damage. no dough to fix it see, so i have to drive till it explodes. |
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Post |
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| my A-M thinks i'm on A-C-I-D |
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| 12:00am 20/11/2005 |
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mood:  teehee music: Bobby D
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well, i'm not, but sometimes i drink and tonight, i may seem more drunk than on other nights. nights when i haven't drank.
chinaski and i will be one tonight, however until the wee hours and i will read him and in my mind it is william burroughs that speaks hank's truth. ah burroughs, he is the voice of my self.
we weep, burroughs and i, for chinaski. as i said months ago, i am in a bukowski mood. and before him, in the first, formative years of my life i was in an ee mood. and after him, probably ginsberg. |
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Post |
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| So-so |
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| 09:25am 17/11/2005 |
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mood:  relaxed music: Backyardigans
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i am stress-free and watching Nick Junior with my son.
unfortunately, such events do not inspire poetry. correction: GOOD poetry. |
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Post |
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| on love |
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| 09:30pm 13/11/2005 |
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mood:  satisfied music: lyrics born
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love is a manic depressive with a penchant for paranoia.
but still we engage him (we aim to please) and, for the most part, he is content as are we, for the most part.
love sits slowly still as cousin time races by and as his slutty brother passion comes and goes and succumbs. love may not be as insane as he once seemed.
no, he is not logical or rational, nor is he (to any degree) forgiving, but he leaves us, for the most part, satisfied. |
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Post |
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| as Adrian would say: secks! |
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| 09:57pm 11/11/2005 |
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mood:  orgasmically radiant music: Simpsons: Maggie goes to Roofi Woodstock
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encompassed in that lusty slink a sardonic smile and a round, hard gesture of loneliness and of pleasure.
an orgasmic radiance. |
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Read 1 - Post |
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